How to Cope With Terminating a Pregnancy

Terminating a pregnancy is almost never an easy decision. The reasons women choose abortion are numerous, but fetal abnormalities and inability to support a child are two of the most common. If you've chosen to have an abortion and are feeling grief, regret or guilt, it's important to remember you're not alone. Almost half the pregnancies in the United States are unplanned, and four in 10 women who accidentally become pregnant choose abortion, according to the Guttmacher Institute.

Instructions

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      Ask the gynecologist who performed the abortion to recommend a support group or sympathetic, pro-choice therapist. Talking with other women who have been through a termination can provide much-needed support in a nonjudgmental community.

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      Surround yourself with compassionate friends. If you have friends who have terminated pregnancies, lean on them for support. Not only can they grieve with you, they can make you smile again. Seek perspective and humor from outside if you can't find it within yourself.

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      Memorialize the child you lost. Write a letter to her, burn the letter and scatter the ashes. Light a candle before you go to bed at night. Say a prayer to her and ask her forgiveness. Plant a tree, build a small shrine or participate in a restorative yoga class and dedicate your practice to her memory. If you need to do these things every day for a while, do them. Once may not feel like enough, and that's not strange or abnormal. Your grief is yours to deal with in your own way.

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      Read other women's abortion stories online. Join a community and talk to other women who are going through what you're going through. This can be especially helpful if nobody knows about your abortion and you need to remain anonymous.

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      Care for yourself, especially if the grief or shame make you resistant. Exercise daily, get enough sleep, eat well and participate in activities you enjoy. Leave the house every day and see the sun, even if you feel like staying in bed. Buy yourself a gift that pleases your senses, such as a scented candle, a lush bubble bath or your favorite food. It's okay to care for yourself. You still deserve it, no matter how ashamed, guilty or sad you feel.

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      Remind yourself that this is not your last opportunity to have a child. If you are medically unable to conceive again, look into adoption or foster care when you're ready. Your life isn't over. Your chance to be a mother isn't gone. You have the rest of your life to be a parent, and you and your future child deserve for the time to be right.

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