How to Become a Great Stepmom

After exchanging vows, you may find yourself adjusting to life as a stepmother in a blended family. Though developing a deeper relationship with your spouse's children can be a fulfilling experience, it can also be a challenging and difficult road to navigate. Whether you are beginning the stepparent journey or trying to improve your family relationships, knowing how to handle your stepchildren can help you become a better stepmom.

Instructions

    • 1

      Make changes slowly. If you and your stepchildren are not well-acquainted, KidsHealth recommends that you keep your expectations realistic and understand that change will take time. Your stepchildren may also never feel as warmly about you as they do their other parents. Spending brief periods of time together initially and expanding time together as relationships grow is often ideal.

    • 2

      Build relationships with the other parents of your stepchildren. Conflict may surface if children feel caught in the middle of disagreements between parents and stepparents, according to HealthyChildren.org. Avoid speaking negatively of the other parents involved in front of your stepchildren.

    • 3

      Get to know your stepchildren. Asking them about their interests directly -- or asking your spouse -- can help you figure out what you share in common. Spending time on these activities together can help your stepchildren see you as less of a threat to the family.

    • 4

      Talk to your spouse about setting up and managing household rules, as well as expectations for discipline. Establishing these guidelines immediately, and working together to enforce them, can build respect between you and your stepchildren, according to HealthyChildren.org. Holding regular family meetings can also help children feel more empowered about the situation -- and less resentful of you.

    • 5

      Manage your responses to your stepchildren. Stepchildren may test your authority, insult you or otherwise try to cause problems. Shouting, name-calling, or playing into an unruly stepchild's behavior can encourage more of the same in the future, according to HealthyChildren.org. Instead, removing yourself from the situation or saying "I'm sorry you feel that way about me. Hopefully, with time, we will see each other differently" can help.

    • 6

      Create new traditions for the family. A weekly pizza night, a monthly video game competition and other events can solidify bonds between all of the members of a blended family.

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