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Week 11 of Pregnancy

Your baby is starting to look less alien now. Woot. He or she has hands and feet, a tongue and a nose and some bones are starting to harden. See ya shark baby, you look more like a chicken nugget with legs now.

You may also be looking a little better these days and a little less green around the gills. Your hormones have probably figured themselves out so your morning sickness may have subsided a bit. Then again, there’s still a good chance you just muttered at the screen, “I wish, bitch”, then gagged at the thought of your baby looking like a chicken nugget.

You may also be feeling a little less tired now, well, you know, relative to the beginning of your pregnancy, or, then again, you may have just rested your face on the keyboard to catch a few zzzzs.

This is also an excellent time to point out that every woman’s pregnancy is different. If you haven’t told many people about your pregnancy, this is a good time to start preparing yourself for the unsolicited history of people’s gestation that is about to come your way. You’ll hear things like, “You should be feeling fine by now. I stopped feeling nauseated around 8 weeks.” Or “You don’t look like you’re gaining much weight, are you sure everything is okay?” or  “You may feel great now, but just you wait until you’re in your third trimester.”

Just nod and say “hmm, interesting” then drop one of your deadly pregnancy farts and walk away.

These people want a piece of the exclusive club that comes with pregnancy – whether it be the happy or miserable – because it’s a hot commodity in our society. So get ready, because even if you skip the sickness, the constipation, the swollen ankles and the hemorrhoids, I can guarantee you’ll get a ton of opinions. Personally, I prefer hemorrhoids.